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Starting to Date Again? Before You Swype Right... Do This!

YES! You've stopped crying into your pillow every night or drinking your sorrows. Your time with your ex is starting to feel like a distant memory. You find yourself laughing at little things every day. You know you are a high value person and you deserve some fun in your life. You've made the decision to get back in the dating game.

You are looking forward to your future and all the possibilities of dating someone new... someone who values you and wants to spend time with you. You've taken the plunge and downloaded Bumble, Tinder, or Plenty of Fish.

Before you swype right or agree to a coffee or cocktail date at the new bistro you've been dying to try, make sure you know what you are looking for, your list of deal breakers, and qualities you hope the other person has. Let's call them the "must haves" and "nice to haves".

Honestly, I find going on dates following a breakup (and realizing he/she/they are not right for you) can be very liberating. Why? Because a new person is taking you out, being attentive, and are interested in learning more about YOU!

On the flip side, dating after a breakup usually only works if you are looking for something casual and/or you no longer have any feelings of anger or resentment towards your ex. Also, it never works to try and replace a new person with the spot your ex filled. Too often, it just ends in more heartbreak.

Sometimes, it can be helpful to go on casual dates with more than one person, to see what is out there and to have fun getting to know new people. No pressure, just fun dates.

Stay true to yourself and invest in people who lift you up!



Sara is a former therapist, relationship life coach, speaker, author, and spoken word poet living in Nashville, TN. Sara has 20+ years experience helping people live joyful, happy lives. For more relationship tips and skills, she can be reached at

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